“signs point to yes”

I have been informed by officers of the Bloggers’ Union (a rough bunch) that my recent entry, which tersely alluded to three songs that mention Michael Jackson, does not meet the union requirement of a post dedicated to Michael Jackson in the wake of his death. So…

I happened to read a news item noting that Jackson’s friend and dermalogist, Arnold Klein, was asked about rumors that Klein was the biological father of at least one of Jackson’s children. Klein’s response? “To the best of my knowledge I am not the father of these children.”

To the best of his knowledge? So he’s not ruling out succubi, sperm-harvesting aliens, or a peculiar semen-producing fugue state, but otherwise he’s pretty sure?

This reminds me of George W. Bush’s infamous response, during the 2000 election, to the query of whether he’d ever used cocaine. His answer was more or less that he could truthfully answer “no” for any time in the preceding twenty-five years.

Here’s the thing: it may shock you, but I myself am not the biological father of any of Michael Jackson’s children. Because I know this categorically, if you were to ask me whether I was, I would answer, “No.” Similarly, I have never used cocaine – so if you asked me if I had, I’d just say “no.” (See what I did there?)

Everything else means “yes.”

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