The world awaits at long last the actual physical release of Guns ‘n’ Roses*’ new CD Chinese Democracy, whose first “single” actually exists, at least in digital form.
Can I hire the Mormon Tabernacle Choir to sing “so what?” for about five hours?
GNR sucked back when CDs were new, shiny, wonderful objects that would transform the music industry, and they suck even more irrelevantly now that CDs are bizarre artifacts purchased only by the elderly (why yes I did buy a handful of CDs just last week, thank you very much). Axl and his gang of idiot poseurs were always just a bunch of dunderheaded clowns laughably enacting the lamest possible rock-star clichés on and off stage, and it’s been utterly mystifying to me why anyone ever gave them the slightest scintilla of cred.
And to take longer to produce a single album than it took Beethoven to write a handful of symphonies, well, it’s just ridiculous. Me, I’m more hotly anticipating the release of a new left-handed flange-grip attachment to the 1947 Grimsby slide rule than I am any new GNR product.
* No, I don’t know which of the apostrophes on the already-annoying “‘n'” thing GNR decided, for no good reason, to omit. Multiply my not-caring about this album by god factorial, and you’ll be within a few light years of my not-caring about that issue.