1. What is the deal with guys wearing short pants in the middle of winter? February is not shorts season, guys. I mean, sorry: wearing shorts and no socks will not make spring arrive any sooner, nor does anyone believe pretending to be impervious to cold makes you an ultramacho dude. (Hint: shrinkage.)
2. Why do some DVDs, on some features, default to having the subtitles on – even when they’re already in English, and I haven’t turned on the subtitle feature? While I’m at it: look, if I’ve gone to the menu, and said that I want to hear the commentary to the movie by clicking on “commentary yes” or whatever, why should I have to click “play” again? Obviously, I’m not just deciding that at some future time I’d like to have the commentary play; I want to hear it now. So what’s with the pointless extra step? Dammit man – I’m busy, I’ve got things to do. No time to click another damned button!
3. Introducing: the meta-peanut. It occurs to me the description on the sign in this image (“Peanuts. (Contains peanuts)”) might actually refer to a breakthrough in genetic engineering whereby peanuts nest inside larger peanuts nested inside yet-larger peanuts, like a matryushka doll or a turducken. I don’t know, because I ran them through the grinder and made peanut butter out of ’em.