1. Apparently, NASA plans on beaming the Beatles’ “Across the Universe” into space. No word on which version they’re going to use – I kinda hope they use the horrible Spectorized one, because that way, space aliens can also realize, wow – he killed someone, and he ruined a perfectly good John Lennon song! (Okay, unfair: Phil Spector did the opposite of ruin many more songs than he ruined…)
Less discussed is the follow-up headline: RIAA to Preemptively Sue All Lifeforms for Copyright Infringement.
2. Regular readers of this space know that I’m occasionally rather out of touch with the average goings-on of the typical American – so it may surprise such readers (all four of them) that I am actually aware that a major sporting event took place yesterday. It involved the game of “Foot-Ball,” and is known under the sobriquet “The Superb Owl,” for mysterious reasons. One team, known as the Providers of Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Tapes (New England), had gone the entire season without losing a match (which wouldn’t have been a problem, since the team was well-equipped with lighters), while its opponent, The Football-Playing New York Football Giants of New York That Play Football Gigantically, had not. Despite this, the larger team won! Yay Largeness! Volume Volume Yoo-Rah-Rah!