a little number we like to call…

I’ve been a bit Wire-obsessed lately. So it started as a joke on the music mailing list – the notion of a Wire Christmas album. Naturally, I had to make up a track listing:

Two Presents in a Room
Snow in My Joints
Fat Man Blurred
Three Gift Rhumba
1 2 Xmas U
Mr. Red Suit
Dot Dasher
Sleigh Chasers
Jingling Tongues
Pink Tree
Mincemeat Bingos
Our Santa
Bell Bell Bell (Dugga-Dugga-Dugga)
No Reindeer on the Ice
You Hung Your Lights in the Tree/A Christmas Touch

I claimed it was released late in 2001 in an exclusive edition of 100 copies, via posteverything.com (where actual Wire recordings can be purchased), under the title My God You’re So Gifted!.

The packaging, supposedly, featured such ridiculous notions as Bruce Gilbert dressed up like Santa, Robert Gotobed/Grey in an Ebenezer Scrooge costume, Graham Lewis as an elf, and Colin Newman as…Mrs. Claus!

Of course, I couldn’t leave well enough alone…and so, “1 2 Xmas U” had to come into actual existence, courtesy of Monkey Typing Pool. And so, ‘ere it is again.

UPDATE: Here it is again – again: I’ve remixed it, using a few amp-simulator plugins, and fixed the annoying timing issue present in my original.

The lyrics, in their entirety (as adapted from the Gilbert/Newman original at pinkflag.com):

Saw you in a mall (asking for sacks), sat on a lap – sat on the fat man
Caught you with a package (wrapper), caught you with a package
1 2 Xmas U

Monkey Typing Pool “1 2 Xmas U”

Monkey Typing Pool “1 2 remiXmas U”

PS: As far as Christmas releases by early post-punk bands go, this has it all over the infamous Gang of Four Christmas release, given away to striking workers…which was a piece of cardboard the size of a 7″ single with the words “Return the Gift” on one side and on the other, a manifesto on why Christmas was a capitalist ploy to sucker the working class into submission.

Damned humorless Marxists.

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