No sense wasting perfectly insane parodies in the comments section of other people’s websites: Francesco Marciuliano (I think I should get honorary Italian status just for spelling that correctly without looking it up) had a recent entry entitled “Table of Contents for ‘The Complete Norton Anthology of Emily Dickinson, Post-Zoloft Prescription’,” one of which was “Today I catalog spoons.”
I was inspired…
Today I catalog spoons —
The round, ovoid, and flatly bent.
And then the forks shall tarry
To hear my cupboard’s testament.
The knives – all dulled by busy
Friends with worried bonnet bees
— will trouble me no longer —
Drone-layer queen apothec’ries!